Understand how negativity can become an (unintended) entrenched part of your life. Human beings are hardwired to avoid danger and to seek pleasure. If we allow the danger avoidance aspect of our thinking processes to become unbalanced by being too risk averse, too apprehensive or too reluctant to give things a go, we can suffer from a propensity to worry and feel anxious more often than not. Coupled with the fact that how we view the world and interact with it affects how the world responds to us, if we choose to highlight the negativity, then we tend to view most events in the same light, giving the negative greater meaning than the positive things that happen within and to us. In fact, a brain that has become so used to thinking negatively may cease to see positive events or to feel positively at all after a time because it simply translates everything in the worried, anxious and negative ways it has become habituated to. A negative person will often choose to see a setback where a positive person will see an opportunity. But don't despair––every person is able to strengthen the positive side of him- or herself and that's the purpose of the rest of this article.



 Make a decision to think for yourself and to take responsibility for your attitude. You experience about 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts every single day of your life. And they're your thoughts––nobody controls how you feel and think unless you let them. This might seem like a very challenging idea if you're used to taking on board the emotions and preferences of other people but it's as much a choice as not letting the feelings of others be the tune you dance to. Own up to the reality that your feelings are something over which you have control. That means deciding to conquer the negativity that is going on around you (and there will always be plenty of negativity––it's a social default mode). Think of what you can do today that is good for you and others, that is positive and constructive. Decide how you will react in ways that will make a difference to your life instead of allowing people and situations to dictate what you think and do. Don't believe the hype. People will often make things seem more important or worrisome than they really are. By not allowing yourself to be swept away by crowd enhanced anxiety and instead taking time to think it over and get an answer that works for you personally, you'll feel less pressured to conform or to fall in line even though doing so doesn't match who you are. This will help you to stay positive because you will feel a greater sense of control over your life and your choices.

 Identify your automatic negative thoughts. In order to shift away from the negative thinking (often calling "stinking thinking") that is holding you back from having a positive outlook, you'll need to become more aware of your "automatic negative thoughts". When you recognize them, you're in a position to challenge them and give them their marching orders, right out of your head. Here are some commonplace automatic negative thoughts that can take up residence in your mind over the years, seemingly acting like normal thoughts but undermining you all the way:

 Start questioning yourself on your negative behavior and attitude. Ask yourself why you're resisting or producing the habits or attitudes that you dislike. Stop each time you catch yourself in a circumstance that brings about negativity and doubts. Stomp on that stinking thinking! This is actually about increasing your awareness of the choices you're making with respect to thinking, so while it might feel a little weird to begin with, noticing your thoughts almost as if you're an external person looking in, is a very helpful way to begin rearranging them more constructively, so that they work for you and not against you. For now, identification should be your main focus; you can start to make changes soon enough but only when you're comfortable recognizing the thoughts for what they are.

 Let yourself be positive. Sometimes thinking negatively has become a norm simply because you believe that to think positively would somehow mean letting go of appearing serious, intellectual, intelligent, clued in, or the like. This can be such a powerful yet erroneous belief that letting go of the negative frame of mind feels absolutely threatening. However, the reality is that positive people aren't any less smart, serious or switched on––in fact, they're usually more inclined to these positive aspects of human nature than any person mired in negativity. If you do suffer from a worry that acting more positively will somehow mess with how you come across to others, don't fret. Take the changes in your thinking in increments and let yourself discover slowly but surely that taking a positive outlook doesn't deaden your sense of justice or propriety, doesn't leave you feeling frivolous and won't dumb you down. Far from it, you should discover a sense of lightness and freedom from the yoke of criticism, which in turn will free up your thinking prowess like never before. Have fun. Okay, it's a cliche but it's said often for good reason––people who seek a bit of regular fun in their lives tend to be happier and more positive because it isn't all drudgery and never-ending monotony. Fun breaks up the hard work and challenges. What brings adventure into your life?

 Challenge your negative thoughts. Perhaps you've thought some of the ever-present negative thoughts all of your life, or for a great deal of it anyway. That doesn't make them right or healthy. Initially it can feel very confronting to keep reminding yourself that the negative thoughts deserve challenging when they distress or disrupt you. Begin by asking simple questions when the automatic negative thoughts pop up, particularly questions like "Is that true?", "Did I just make that up because it sounded reasonable but I lacked the facts?", "How does it help me to think negatively like this?" and "Is this situation as bad as I'm making it out to be?".

 Replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Once you're feeling confident that you can spot and challenge negative thoughts, you're ready to make active choices about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. This isn't Pollyanna time though––sometimes bad things happen and you'll feel genuinely bad––and that's normal. What aiming for a positive outlook is really about is replacing the daily unhelpful thinking patterns outlined earlier with thoughts that actually help you to flourish.

 Keep at it. Developing a positive outlook is actually the development of a skill. You're not born thinking negatively––it happens over time as you absorb the communications and actions around you, including how you were raised, educated and treated in various contexts through life. As with any skill, it takes time to master and it requires dedicated practice and gentle reminders about not falling back into stinking thinking. There are lots of great ways to help you stay focused and pepped to stick with the positive thinking, such as:

 Be optimistic as a force of influence. Optimism is infectious. Misery is also infectious. Which would you rather spread? By showing an optimistic attitude and making positive, constructive choices, you act as an example to others to do likewise. Associate or mix around with people who can provide something of value. Look for the positives in other people too––finding what is good in people and accentuating that will help more of it to flourish. Avoid people who sap your energy and motivation. If you can't avoid them, or don't want to, learn how not to let them get you down and keep your connection with them brief. Be very wary of any romantic liaison in which you feel that your partner is taking on your life rather than having one of his or her own––this is a warning that this person has the ability to drag you down and leave you feeling sapped. Connect with people who have many passions they call their own and want to share with you.
  
Set meaningful goals , no matter how impossible they may seem at the moment. Keep yourself busy working on them, throw yourself into reaching them and believe in the cause you've set for yourself. Once you reach the first goal, you will be inspired to continue with the remaining goals, as well as adding new ones. With each goal achieved, no matter how small, you will gain confidence and your self-esteem will increase, feeding more positivity in your life. And in general, have a plan for your life––where you want to go and how you want to get there. Where do you want to be at certain points in your life? This doesn't have to be complicated (indeed, don't make it hard on yourself!) but by having a general plan, you give yourself the motivation to overcome obstacles and to start feeling that you are in control of your destiny––not fate, not other people and not random events. Embrace difficulties. They will happen, as often as successes or peak moments in your life, perhaps more often. They are there to teach you what doesn't work, what needs changing and how you can improve your approaches. They are something you can cope with, if you choose to do so.
http://www.wikihow.com/Think-Positively